You think you're hot? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!??

"Welcome to Arizona...
Where White Snake, Scorpion, and King Lizard aren't desert rock bands."
(Alice Cooper)

Are you ready for a summer hike in the desert with all the critters?

Pseudonymous High School Teacher has come up with a great new idea. Those of us who are all too poor to enjoy a vacation away this year, and anyone else so inclined, will post tips about traveling, or taking a stay-cation, where we live.

I live in Phoenix, Arizona, where for the past two weeks it has been 115 degrees. I found out yesterday the highest degrees recorded in Arizona history is 140 degrees. The first thing you have to do before going for a hike in Arizona is to get over your fear that if you fall down, and get knocked out and end up lying on the hiking trail, that you will cook to death. Once you've picked your hiking destination, you want to make sure you have a cell phone and lots of water in case of an emergency.

Arizona is the most awesome destination for hiking, as long as you AVOID the middle of the day and late afternoon. Sunrises are at 5:30 AM and sunsets are at 7:30PM. This time of year, if you venture out for a hike, it should be in early morning, or early evening. I recommend planning your hike around the sunrise or the sunset, and bringing a jacket because if the temperature drops below 95, you will feel a bit chilly.

I always wear really good hiking boots, but really good athletic shoes will do. You have to wear a hat, even if you think you look like a dork. Sunglasses are a good staple too because you don't want to get cataracts from the UV rays, or lines from squinting. I use 300 strength sun screen to park my car especially since here you park according to where the shade is, not according to distance. Remember one important thing, in Arizona you can get a sunburn through the tinted windows in your car, so lather up! You also want to keep chap stick on hand so that your lips don't get chafed from you eating hot chilies to cool your mouth off. I promise you will get used to the condensation on your butt feeling because you'll be spending all of your time wishing you had cold water to splash on your face.

You have to be prepared for any contingency when you are on an Arizona trail. I always put a few rocks in my pocket in case I come across a coyote. I also make sure my mind is set that if I run across a swarm of bees that I will freeze, and not run. I will slowly turn around and walk as slowly as possible to get the hell out.

I have learned how to spot critters; the secret is to look for any kind of motion. Once you learn that trick you can be driving down the road, staring out the window, and you will most assuredly see critters. The first picture was taken around the Mogollon Rim near Payson, Arizona. It is a photo of two elk in a meadow. I think love was in the air.

An interesting tid bit; in Arizona we have elk detectors. Where the population of elk is extremely dense there are detectors along the road and, whenever an elk is actually in the area, a sign lights up saying "elk detected" so that drivers can slow down. Bumpers here make pretty good branding irons so that's a good thing.

The next photo is of an antelope who seriously was not afraid of me at all! I have found that a lot of animals and birds are afraid of the black box around my neck. Not this guy, he acted like he wanted to sit down with me and enjoy some sun tea.

The next photo is of an American Bald Eagle taken on the Fort McDowell Indian Reservation. They like to live on the Indian Reservations because they feel safe there. He also pays the fledglings to pull worms from the ground for him. (He told me so.) Call me the eagle whisperer.

The next critter is one you definitely need to watch out for. It is the Arizona Diamondback rattlesnake. They hide in the shade a lot. You want to look before you step, and listen very closely for rattling sounds when you are hiking here. These are all over Arizona and can pop up in your path anytime. There's one now hiding next to a rain collector barrel in the shade. If you look really closely, or click and enlarge, right at the very top in the middle is the rattler sticking straight up. Do you see it? This guy was at our cabin in Snow Flake.

When you are hiking in Arizona you want to adhere to all of the posted rules about fire safety including no ground fires, no target shooting, and no smoking, to avoid starting a wild fire. You also want to be able to recognize smoke when you see it so that you can retreat quickly if necessary so as not to be trapped. Smoke sort of looks like clouds. Here are some sample photos taken at the Mogollon Rim. The smoke is close to the horizon and has a blackish hue if you look really closely.

Here's another one for good measure.

Here is a typically gorgeous Arizona sunset. They are incredibly beautiful with the warm summer hues. If you want to see more, you can click on my previous Sky Watch Friday posts.


Winter hikes would have a different set of tips, but a lot would overlap. Here I am dressed up and ready for a winter hike. More about that next winter.

After your hike, if you are in the neighborhood, come on over for a swin! Come at noon when not one person is out on the street. Learn to drive with two fingers, and don't burn your hand opening the car door.