Brought to you by the angry shopper.
I had to venture out to the mall today, to my dismay, to hunt for a nonexistent $5 retirement mug. (I'll spare you the diatribe; long story short, cheap coworkers.) Have you tried walking in the mall lately? Shoppers exit stores blindly and don't yield to the flow of passersby. They stop short right in front of you and make you bash into them, and then give you a snarky look as if to call you a mindless moron. They clog the aisles, even in the stores, to chat with friends. And when did mothers and fathers start using their baby strollers as battering rams?
Today a fashionista with an iPod bud in one ear and a cellphone in the other came flying out of a Starbucks and hit me right in the boobs. As I brushed her cafe mocha off my blouse, she only looked at me with disgust. I wished I'd pushed her back, but instead my thoughts were instantly swallowed up with visions of beating her senseless and driving her forever into her own electronic hell never to see the light of day again. If these 'technophiliac imbeciliacs' (good one) love their gadgets this much, why don't they do us a favor and stay at home and order everything online via faceless electronic transactions and leave us the hell alone.
I seem to remember my kindergarten education where I was taught to walk on the right in the hallway. Somehow I figured out that it worked well in stores and on streets just as well as in the hallways of school. And I remember a time not so long ago when shoppers and pedestrians alike walked on the right and passed on the left, paying attention to the each other. Now they dart in and out distracted by cell phones and text messages totally oblivious to the world around them.
I think the current kindergarten education should include teaching children to walk with their arms rigid so that anyone who walks into them, stops short in front of them, or careens into them while on their cell phone, bounces off from a hefty body slam.
It's fun to fantasize about knocking their blocks off, Rockem Sockem Robot style, but backing off is probably the wisest non-move. Shopping rage is as dangerous as road rage these days. Cafe mocha on the blouse is probably not body bag worthy.
15 comments:
How about the people who come to a dead stop at the top of an escalater? One of the reasons I don't go to malls.
What a bitch with the mocha! And OUCH! I hate the mall for the same reason I hate any crowded place: people with no manners.
Hope you found the mug, anyway...
People are just crazy now! It is risky to even go out in public anymore.
Ah, the bodily harm fantasy. I get that one a lot.
Simple consideration for others seems to be on the wane. In addition to the things you've mentioned here, let me add casual profanity (sorry RK!). I was in the salon last week and some guy was getting a haircut (who let men in, anyways?) and every third word was f'ing this and f'ing that. He was loud and impossible to ignore. Hey dude, the world isn't your frat house.
You should try the shopping malls in the UK. Forget the mocha, you are more likely to be knifed by someone for standing in the way.
I love the mall. I wear my daughters 6" platform boots with the steel toes. Woe to the snarky 20-something bleach blonde on a cell phone that gets in my way. I break them in two. Or, at the very least, leave black rubber markes on their Jimmy Choos.
Its good to get these feeling off your chest - my friend.lol.
Come visit my Autumn Crocus
The world is full of rude morons. Just come sit by me and we can point and giggle at them all.
Damn I missed you :)
And I hate malls.
End of chat, as Suzy would say :)
There's no accounting for the stupidity of others is there?
Yup. People suck.
Can't stand shopping malls or centers. Have a real battle with people who just stand chatting in the middle of the walk way, or in the middle of a shop. I do most of my shopping online.
CJ xx
so happy you came by again to visit, and i see you have the pregnancy counter widget, great litte gizmo,whose baby?? a grandchild??sorry about the death, hope you're okay.
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